when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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