You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
