I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
