Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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