it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize