I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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