Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
