I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
