So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
