"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you didnt know i had herpes?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
