whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
