He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
