If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
