are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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