its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
