You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
