It's just like the Real World with babies
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
