my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
