I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
