just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
