You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's Friday. Sex?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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