Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
