Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
