This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
