hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
