Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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