this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
