i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Alive.
So much puke
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
