Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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