I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
