I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
