And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
