Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
