I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize