Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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