Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
