What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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