why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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