Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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