if i can run in heels then i can drive
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When are your genitals available?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
