And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
