At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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