hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
