I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sorry my hands just texted you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize