Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
