Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
