It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
