didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Damn victory sex feels great
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
