I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
