absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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