Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
