All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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