is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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