Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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