no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
