And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
