She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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