yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
