She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize