I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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