was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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