3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I enjoy the company of your penis
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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