I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I see more hoeing in ur future
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