It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
