she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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