I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
