My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
