bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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