i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
