Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
