Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
