Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
