i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Drunk is not a location!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
