I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
