kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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