You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
