her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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