oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize