I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
