but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
